Look who's back :-)

She still struggling but she is feeling a whole lot better!

Tonight I want to talk about something that has been surprisingly hard. So here it is. Outside of my children there is absolutely nothing expected of me. I closed my daycare (I wasn't very busy out here... but still), I got released from my church calling, I quit the PTA. If the house is messy, nobody holds it against me. If there's no dinner prepared, Jason picks up the slack (he's turned into a really good cook by the way ;-). I'm rarely expected to be in a certain place at a certain time. When I am, half the time I have to cancel, and people are very understanding. And it's all as it should be I guess because of our situation. It's just...an unexpected challenge that comes with the territory of being a special needs parent. You lose yourself a little. Become a little.........invisible.

Sophia is not much better today. She's about the same. It's still a privelage taking care of her :-)

Her sparkle is slowly returning

She's not smiling yet. But she's starting to get that look in her eye like she's feeling a little better ;-)

The Best Way Out Is Always Through

Another beautiful PCH princess has earned her dragonfly wings :-) She has gone home to her Heavenly Father, Mother, and brother Jesus. Her parents didn't post what happened but I suspect it may have been sudden because there weren't any recent posts about her doing poorly. I know she is okay, I grieve for her parents.

"The best way out, is always through"-Robert Frost.

Sophia is doing a little better. The recovery is slight everyday.

Going home

Sophia is being treated for pneumonia and bronchialitis. But she's finally showing enough improvement that we can take her home. They say it will be a slower recovery but she should be ok. I'm looking forward to seeing her smile again. That's when I know she's really on the mend ;-)

She's in the hospital again. Not sure why yet. She seems to be sick with something. Just when we think we've been trained on everything, and can handle it all at home, something new and scary happens. Last night it was (accompanying her bug) heavy gasping, wheezing, and very low oxygen that sent us in :-( She's very tired this morning. Poor thing was a pincusion last night :-( She has terrible veins and we didn't get all the blood we needed for tests. We all gave up trying and decided to let her rest a while :-( We also couldn't get an iv in for fluids :-( She really hadn't peed all day so we had to push straight pedialyte as fast and as long as she would tolerate, which meant no food, but hydration trumps nutrition :-( We really pushed it but she finally has a wet diaper this morning and so I've mixed in some milk now :-)

Jason and I were chatting the other night as married couples do :-) Just for a moment, and I only allow a moment for thoughts like this, I felt sorry because Sophia was supposed to be crawling under the Christmas tree this year. My husband understood that. And he validated it too. After that, as the conversation went on, he decided to try to cheer me up by calling this Ultimate Motherhood :-) Sophia needs me more than all our other children combined (and they need me plenty!). And I get to fill that role right now! ;-) To be constantly needed has it's challenges, but it has it's rewards too ;-) THIS is ULTIMATE Motherhood! :-)

Unfortunately today ultimate motherhood meant I had to call in reinforcements for the others, and hold my almost 20 pound infant upright for 14 hours :-( Ultimate fatherhood meant Jason had to cancel boys night out with our two oldest :-( Hopefully she'll be feeling better in a couple days and we can get back to the good stuff ;-)