A couple weeks ago we stopped by a church I've selected for Sophia's funeral. I wanted to scope out the layout and get a feel for the size and if it would work. I took the kids with me. The worker opened the building and casually asked what kind of event I was planning. A wedding? A farewell? I was holding Sophia. I candidly answered explaining that she is doing very well for her condition right now. It was a good day for it. Because that day she was so healthy it didn't seem like she's going anywhere.
I've read that believing that death won't happen will make grieving very difficult. The kids knew why we were there and I hope absorbing the stress in small appropriate doses will be helpful overall. I'm also hoping that planning each step and knowing what will happen... and what it will look like... will help us cope. On the day of the funeral we will be going to a place that we've been before. Hopefully that will make the children feel a little more comfortable. We didn't ruminate or wallow. It wasn't melodramatic. It was super casual. A pit stop. An errand. It was even pleasant. I told the worker I am blogging about our experience with Sophia and asked if she would take our picture on the church bench.
I am planning her funeral. But we still hope and pray every day for our dear Sophia. We want her here as long as we can have her. She's so bubbly. I love watching the children take turns playing with her. I'm so glad she smiles and that we know she is happy. She brightens our lives every day :-)
Update: Sophia's antibiotics are working! She is doing SO much better! We still desperately need to figure out her severe reflux, but we are no longer worried about pnemonia! :-) :-) :-) Now let's all pray that we can take her to the ocean this weekend!!!
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