IF.......THEN

There was a time in my young life when I was trying to give up a bad habit. Here's how I did it. I did a little experiment every time I wanted to. Every time I wanted to I would say a prayer. And I told myself IF the feeling didn't go away in a certain amount of time, THEN I would go ahead and do it. At this time in my life I hadn't been to church, or said a prayer in a long time. So I was experimenting with prayer. IF God was there for me....THEN I would consider letting Him back into my life. Well it worked. Every time. And I was able to kick the habit. And I kept my end of the deal too 😉

I think I may try another IF.....THEN experiment to help me through the loss of my daughter (when it happens). This is how I came up with it...

I have a quote from the candy bomber written in marker on my mirror. One night, soon after Sophia's diagnosis, we returned home from the NICU. Jason read the quote and said it was a good one for us to keep in mind during this time. It goes like this:

"The only true feeling of worth a person has is when you get outside yourself and when you help somebody else. Following the Savior's example to the degree that one is able to do that is the only way to happiness."

And so I came up with an idea. After Sophia is gone and I am more sad than I can possibly imagine...I wonder if the only thing that will temper the pain will be to get out of myself and serve others constantly. So that's what I'm going to try. I imagine, for some time, it will be quite robotic....like.....just forcing myself to put one foot in front of the other again. But that's my plan A. And after a LONG while IF that doesn't work....well THEN maybe I'll try wallowing in self pity 😝

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